There was a huge, collective sigh when the new year was rung in and on January 20, a new president was inaugurated. 2020 was indeed a tough year rife with a lot of drama, upset, threats, fear, anger, and death. There were marches, protests, violence, and heartache.
Then a pandemic infiltrated American society and a maelstrom of mis- and disinformation flew in every direction leaving people wondering what to do and whom to believe as they began mourning the loss of loved ones from COVID-19.
America shuttered its homes and businesses in an attempt to stave off the spread of the coronavirus. Jobs were lost, long-standing venues closed for good, people were beginning to lose their homes because they weren’t bringing in any money and couldn’t pay their rent or mortgage. African Americans found themselves hit the hardest by COVID-19, yet no medical relief was in sight. Coupled with quickly dwindling financial reserves, the future was looking bleaker by the day.
Meanwhile, politicos fought mightily to have their way, to keep their positions, to stay in control. They manipulated, juggled, and outright lied to the American public as they argued over how much stimulus money to give to people living on the edge. The politicians were in no danger of suffering, so it never occurred to many of them to look past their own situations.
And all while this circus was going on, Black people were still being profiled, harassed, and murdered. It’s now 2021 and what exactly has changed?
Well … there’s hope with the new administration. That’s nice. But that doesn’t speak to the stress and anxiety people have been living with since the corona virus arrived on our shores exacerbated by political strife. And, after a year of wrangling with social distancing, wearing masks and staying sequestered at home, people are getting exhausted, worn down by trying to survive. For many, the past year has been traumatizing.
Psychologist have determined that there are three types of trauma: acute, chronic, and complex.
Acute – An event that sends all of your being into shock.
This is what most of us are familiar with wherein we’re unable to emotionally and mentally cope with what’s happened, e.g., a soldier in a conflict situation, a horrible car accident, getting attacked or raped. We shut down, go numb, withdraw, and sometimes go insane. It can take years of working with a therapist to grow beyond the shocking event and find some normalcy in our lives.
Chronic – Ongoing trauma that takes longer to register with us emotionally or that we either choose or are forced to live with.
An example of this type of trauma — not by choice — is living with a drug addict or alcoholic parent or being repeatedly abused by another person. We develop survival mechanisms to withstand the ongoing stress and anxiety, often not realizing the full emotional toll it takes on us, yet it directly affects our quality of life and relationships.
Or chronic trauma could be from the type of job we’ve chosen such as an EMT, emergency room doctor, or fireman. The intense situations that are part of these jobs are difficult to resolve and they may negatively impact our lives to a degree, but they don’t obliterate our sense of overall wellbeing.
Complex – Slow-burn trauma, such as derived from long-term, unrelenting stress and anxiety.
The effects of this type of trauma are often hard to recognize but they accumulate over time and we at some point blow up, melt down, or burn out. Examples of complex trauma include verbal bullying in school, incredibly demanding and derisive bosses who never let up, living in an unhealthy physical environment, or because of your skin color you experience either unconscious or overt racism on a consistent basis.
2020 was the year we got to experience all of the above and it hasn’t let up. What’s needed now are ways to 1) relieve the stress and anxiety, 2) manage its ongoing presence, and 3) help others de-stress from the anxiety and trauma that’s built up over this past year. Here are couple of options to consider:
Exercise – get activated and get the endorphins going. Oxygenate your body through deep breathing exercises, walk every day, or try a million other things that get you moving.
Diet – review your diet and choose only the foods and beverages that truly energize and enliven all facets of your being.
Get real – no more denial, apathy, avoidance, boredom, procrastination, or anything that keeps the real you down. Begin the journey of finding out who you really are and what your purpose in life is through meditation, contemplation, or a spiritual practice.
Connect – if you’re not facetiming or using Zoom or Skype, you’re really missing out. Discuss with those you trust what’s working, what’s not, and how you can support each other. Don’t keep your stress and anxiety bottled up or it may one day explode in the most damaging of ways.
Communicate – don’t just whine, attack, and/or gossip. Become a part of the solution. Get in touch, get expansive, get creative, and get active. Talk with people – not at them. Learn to listen – listen to learn.
Be of service – helping others is incredibly rewarding and enriching. It also gets you out of your own head and troubles.
All of us want lives and relationships of quality and depth, so a thing like trauma is not something to ignore. Take stock of what’s happening with you emotionally. If you find that you’re constantly irritable, negative, fearful, confused, depressed, enervated or angry, you may be suffering from one of the three forms of trauma.
Address it now. You, your loved ones, friends, and co-workers deserve the best of you, the truest essence of your being. Let your light shine no matter what!
