If you are a single woman and at least 40 years old, you already know how hard it is to find and meet the right man to date. If you were single before the pandemic, online dating apps are the only way to continue to search for love.
Using a dating app feels more like a game than the real thing. Depending on which app you use and your level of use, you can rest assured you are going to meet a qualified number of weirdos, jerks, and serial killers (joking) if you swipe enough. But if you are serious about finding love, here are a few tips to make sure your profile stands out among the crowd.
PROFILE PICS ARE EVERYTHING
Let’s face it, people always start with a photo. Because we are all attracted to physical looks, you must make sure that your profile pic conveys the look you desire. This should not have to be said but using a most recent picture is the best policy. Using photos from ten years ago will only have your dates running for the exit after they figure out that the twenty pounds you gained thanks to COVID are alive and well.
Make sure you have at least four to six photos of yourself — one photo does not give your prospective date enough views of you to determine his interest. If you can, try to stay away from the dreaded bathroom pic, the dirty bedroom pic, or the standing in front of an abandoned house pic. Believe it or not, guys look at the background of your photos, so make sure you create the right tone by having the right pictures on your profile. For the love of God, keep your kids out of your pics. Your prospective love is looking at you only, not your kids.
YOUR STORY
Your profile is the second thing guys look at before they decide to hit the “Like” button. Make sure it offers some insight into what you desire. Create a tone with your profile by writing complete sentences. If you’re looking to find an educated partner, he is considering you based on how articulate you are. Incomplete sentences are the fastest way to have someone swipe left on your profile.
Your profile should include details about your interests and how you expect to be treated. The more you can provide in the profile, the closer you will get to the matches you desire. Try not to be too wordy with your profile. Remember, he wants the cliff notes into your life, not the entire book.
LONG DISTANCE LOVE
It seems like anyone worth dating is at least two hours away. Finding love on a local level can be extremely hard. You will see the same people on several different dating sites, so set your distance to at least 100 miles. This way you will have more options to choose from. If you put your distance filter too low, you will quickly run out of choices. If you are willing to travel for love, you just might find the person you have been searching for, though they just might be in a different city.
MOVING FROM THE APP TO TEXTING
So, you seem to have met your match. The communication between you two seems good. You now would like to move the conversation from the app to your phone. You need to be careful when moving to texting. There are scammers who use the online dating apps to steal information they can obtain by getting your cell phone number.
If someone on the app asks you to text them too quickly, this should raise a red flag. If they claim to be stuck in another country, this is a major red flag. Also asking what appears to be personal questions too quickly typically means that you are being scammed. If you would like to protect yourself, you can get a google number that’s separate from your phone.
This number protects you from theft and is untraceable, providing you with an added layer of safety.
THE FIRST MEETING
If you are lucky enough to want to meet a potential person to date, try to pick locations that have a decent crowd. Never allow your potential first date the opportunity to pick you up. Instead meet them at your choice of location and make sure you have checked all the exits to give yourself enough options to end the date early, if need be.
Meeting for coffee is suggested for a first meeting. Dinner could be too much of a commitment and you might feel obligated to endure a meeting for over an hour if you don’t like the person. Try meeting them for a cup of coffee. Coffee offers the ability to end the meeting quickly and get out of a bad situation. It also keeps the cost of the first meeting low, thus reducing your feeling guilty over not liking someone who just spent serious bucks taking you out.
SEX OPTIONS
So, you have finally met someone you like. You have been on a few dates and it seems like a good fit. You are ready to take things to the next level but want to feel comfortable with your new partner yet are not sure when you should.
There is no real answer to when you should get naked with your lover. The typical waiting period for having sex is four dates, which gives them enough space to show you who they really are. It also allows you the space and time to make sure you are comfortable getting that intimate.
At the same time, when you are over 40, secure in your job, your kids are amazing and doing well, and it has been a minute since you have had sex, there is no protocol for getting busy. If you enjoy your date, you get to decide when you want to take things to the next level.
These are just a few options you can consider when looking to date someone with potential. There are no real, clear guidelines for finding true love, but if you are on a dating app, make sure you know what you want, make good decisions, and have a good time in the process. ●
