TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN

What a tumultuous year it’s been! No need to go into details — we’ve each got our experiences and perspectives on the ups and downs, the plusses and minuses, the gains and losses. The question is: to what end?

I guess what it really comes down to is the quality of our relationships with family, friends, co-workers, community, self, and life as a whole. COVID-19 forced many of us to re-evaluate our lives, the work we do, what we put our energies toward — and we’re still in that process.

Let’s face it: our lives and the world have changed forever. We’ve made some new decisions about how life should be lived. We’re even questioning the purpose of our lives. We want to know the “why” behind what we invest our time and effort in, the work we do, the people we associate with, what has meaning for us — and we also want to know where the heck we’re going.

One way to look at life now is as a continuum of transformation. There’s no getting around the fact that we’ve four options to choose from: regressing, becoming static, shifting laterally, or moving onward and upward. Each is a form of transformation, moving from one position to another. That transformation can either shrink or expand us emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. Our choice of what kind of transformation we want will create a reality that enlivens, degrades, or entombs us.

For most people, that’s a scary proposition for the simple reason that another word for transformation is “change,” something we all tend to shy away from. Change is often regarded in the pejorative, a request or demand to let go of something we cherish whether it’s good for us or not.

Amazingly, we’d rather hold onto something like an addiction, abuse, or deleterious habit than step through the door of opportunity. Why? Because what’s on the other side of the door is unknown. What’s there could be scary, even worse than our current situation, cause us to move out of our comfort zone, or push us to make even more changes. What it comes down to is whether we love ourselves enough to break through our fears.

The phrase “How can you love someone else if you don’t love yourself first?” is fitting here. So many of us want another person, group, or the world to change — transform — as though we’re the rubric by which others should pattern themselves. To put it politely, none of us is the epitome of wisdom, the pinnacle of consciousness, the ultimate divine love and beingness.

What we are travelers on journeys of awakening, blossoming into greater versions of ourselves. Each day is one of striving to know our true selves. In that process, we transform. As we transform, the world around us transforms — not because it has actually transformed, but because the lens through which we view the world in all its facets has changed.

Personal transformation means that our focus and understandings broaden. Very importantly, our perspectives and the meaning we give to anything broaden so that we’re no longer hostage to one-dimensional beliefs and values. We see and grasp a larger picture. As we transform, our consciousness becomes more encompassing, less attached to things being a certain way, and we’re not married to specific outcomes.

Instead, we experience life as a fluid, ever-changing ebb and flow of events occurring for our benefit, not happening to us. Each event, no matter what it is, has within it opportunities for our further growth, to learn something new about ourselves and life. The result is that we experience newer levels of freedom. We also help light the way for others striving to overcome all sorts of challenges, as did Jesse Owens, Wilma Rudolph, Ruby Bridges, Rosa Parks, Oprah Winfrey, Jackie Robinson, Ursula Burns — and so many more luminaries.

Martin Rutte, author of Project Heaven on Earth: The 3 simple questions that will help you change the world … easily, has a button he hands out to people that says, “You have to do it by yourself, and you can’t do it alone.” That may mess with your mind a little but think about it. Essentially, you have to do the work within yourself because no one else can do that inner work for you — and then work with others because the reality is that we’re all in this thing called “life” together.

CODE M Magazine’s tagline is “Transforming the Lives of Men.” As we move into our fifth year of publication, we remain steadfast in our mission of “promoting, celebrating, and showcasing the wonderful men of color who are making a difference.” But we are also highlighting the lives of Black women, business people, athletes, celebrities, educators — all the members of Black communities who — together — uplift, support, expand, honor, and transform the lives of all.

Transformation may seem like it’s a big undertaking. It doesn’t have to be. Sometimes, the most subtle of transformations are the most life-changing, heartrending, and consciousness expanding. And then there are the times when the massive transformation is called for as that’s the only thing that will break through the mental/emotional stasis we’re in. The question is whether we’re willing to step up, face ourselves, and let go of what no longer positively serves us.

Our world today seems to be slowly smothering under the weight of distractions, conflict, addictions, greed, fear, and the lust for power, control, fame, and wealth. People are strenuous and without thought to consequences pushing the boundaries of entertainment, rudeness, crass behavior, and violence. They mistakenly think that this will help them attain power, control, fame, and wealth. That can happen — and we have a ton of examples attesting to this — but none of that can buy:

Manners Morals Respect

Character Common sense Trust

Patience Class Integrity

Truth Compassion Love

All of these intangibles are intrinsic to every human being, yet we each have our own understanding of what they mean and how they’re expressed. Practicing and living each unconditionally every day and in all circumstances allows for trial and error, the chance to spread our wings and rise to new heights of comprehension, to delve more deeply into answering the questions “Who am I?” “Why am I here?” “What and who do I want to be?” That is transformation.

CODE M’s desire is to move us out of the Age of Misinformation (adroitly manipulated via our digital facility) into the Age of Spacious Illumination (insight, intuitive capacity, interconnectedness, and compassion). That’s why we are focused on the areas that most affect the lives of African Americans: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, health, and financial.

Within those six areas are a wealth of subjects we highlight to engage readers’ curiosity, inspire creativity, present opportunities for greater discourse, touch hearts, deepen awareness, and, ultimately, support each reader’s journey of awakening.

At the beginning of this article, the question was asked in reference to this past year: to what end? The answer is: It’s all about transformation and making a better world for everyone. We have a choice of regressing, becoming static, shifting laterally, or moving onward and upward. Let’s choose the latter! ●