Life is hard enough. For those who have afflictions like ADHD (Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder), life can be unbearable. With so many factors contributing to the condition, many people lose themselves in the ever-complicated existence of trying to navigate life, not totally understanding what triggers their condition, and what is simply an outside irritant.
Shama Akram has seemed to crack the code on dealing with ADHD by helping her clients better understand their own relationship with their condition and how to better deal with the internal battle that comes with the diagnosis.
Akram, who lives in Great Britain, is a consultant who works with children and adults around the world. Her clients range from twelve to 80 years of age. She works with professionals to help them perform better at work, and she also works with those who just want a better, more peaceful life.
“I battled through life myself until I discovered early in my forties that I had ADHD,” Akram said. “It was only after I realized what was going on that I became a champion for developing the coping mechanisms needed to thrive with ADHD.”
Akram defines coping mechanisms as having her clients define which areas of ADHD afflict them, then have them work to better understand what triggers their condition. Once they are aware of those things, they then develop ways to reduce the occurrences of their issues, thus reducing the daily stress they live with by having ADHD.
Akram describes the different aspects of ADHD.
Common Symptoms
- Inattention: Easily distracted, difficulty organizing, trouble finishing tasks, poor time management, forgetfulness, daydreaming.
- Hyperactivity/Restlessness: Fidgeting, feeling internally restless, excessive talking, difficulty sitting still, constant need for activity.
- Impulsivity: Interrupting others, blurting things out, impatience, acting without thinking, and trouble waiting for turns.
- Emotional Dysregulation: Mood swings, low frustration tolerance, hot temper, high sensitivity.
How it Appears in Adults
- Symptoms become more pronounced as life demands increase.
- Hyperactivity may decrease but manifest as internal restlessness.
- Difficulty with executive functions (planning, prioritizing) significantly impacts daily life, work, and relationships.
- Often co-occurs with anxiety, depression, or sleep disorders, complicating diagnosis.
For those with ADHD, they may not know they suffer from one or all the areas that it can impact in their life. Akram helps them break down their habits so she can identify which ones impact them. They then work on a plan to manage how ADHD impacts them in a negative way. Once they have a game plan, the people she consults begin to better see the roadblocks in front of them, thus creating a better outcome when they see stress coming.
“Life for people who struggle with ADHD can get to be so bad that sometimes they cannot function in a work environment, they struggle in their relationships, and they find it hard to even get along with others socially,” Akram said.
Akram, herself, knew that something had to be done for herself when she finally realized she had ADHD.
“My husband will tell you that it was tough to me with me before I understood that I have ADHD,” Akram said. “He wouldn’t understand why I was so emotional, and we would argue about everything. Little did I know at the time that I was suffering from emotional dysregulation.”
Akram also suffered from:
- Time blindness – Difficulty perceiving and managing the passage of time, leading to chronic lateness, missed deadlines, and trouble with planning, commonly linked to ADHD but also seen in autism, depression, or brain injury.
- Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) – A behavioral profile, often linked to autism, characterized by an extreme resistance to everyday demands and requests, driven by anxiety and a need for control, not willful defiance.
- Justice sensitivity – A strong awareness of unfairness, leading to intense emotional, cognitive, and behavioral reactions to perceived injustices, common in ADHD and autism but present in many. It involves feeling wronged deeply, ruminating on them, and feeling compelled to fix them. Types include victim sensitivity (experiencing injustice), perpetrator sensitivity (guilt for causing harm), observer sensitivity (noticing injustice towards others), and beneficiary sensitivity (discomfort from unfair advantage).
Akram warns that for those with ADHD, once they throw in aging, menopause, and medication, the outcome can be very bad for those who don’t seek an understanding of how to cope with having the condition.
She also says that for those who seek counseling and treatment, their lives can improve. Akram has seen dozens of people who thrive in life once they better understand what’s going on. After they realize they have ADHD, they begin to resolve the conflict within themselves much better, thus creating a better life for themselves.
“Life is not supposed to be a mental prison where you can’t understand why everything triggers you. I once thought to myself, ‘If I’d known I had ADHD, I wouldn’t have had kids.’ However, now that I understand what’s happening, I’m a different person,” Akram explained.
She uses the same philosophy as she coaches her patients. Because she’s living it, she finds the place where her patients can go to heal, forgive themselves, and then begin a new way of interacting with the world around them.
Her success stories include people who struggle in college, but after getting help from her, they’ve gone on to graduate from law school. She has also helped children learn how to reduce their stress levels so they can co-exist with their siblings and parents. Akram understands how cruel the world can be and works hard to prepare those who seek her for treatment to do so with as little medication as possible.
“Personally, for me, I didn’t want to experience the side effects of medication,” Akram said. “Medication can alter your mood, change your DNA, and for some people, increase their burden of having ADHD.”
Akram includes exercise and meaningful rest as healthy options for those who work with her. She herself exercises three times a week and gets as much passive rest and active rest as possible.
Akram defines active rest as developing good sleeping habits. Rest can do wonders for recovery and to maintain peace. She defines passive rest as having the ability not to suffer from the conditions associated with having ADHD.
Akram believes that getting rest from the stress of having ADHD increases her patients’ happiness, reduces their frustration with the things they are trying to accomplish, and helps them better deal with any future issues they may face.
She doesn’t have all the answers for those dealing with adults or adolescents with ADHD; however, she does have a game plan for those she helps. She knows that understanding their condition is half the battle; they’ll figure the rest out as they work together to thrive in life.
Akram has the right attitude, and she’s helping those who seek her out to do the same thing.
