Life as a single has become harder in the last twelve months. Before the pandemic, meeting women was easy. Walking up and saying hello was a proven method of meeting someone. Today, people are more reserved in their attempts to assertively walk up and say anything to anyone. So, people turned to dating apps to find love. Today, dating apps offer close to nothing in terms of a response from women and often leave men alone and feeling hopeless.
These tools are great for finding short-term romances, but they’re not conducive to building sustainable relationships. Dating apps don’t work because they are designed to be fast, easy, and casual. They’re not good for getting to know someone well and building a strong foundation for a future relationship.
The common complaint about modern dating apps is that women don’t respond. It takes almost 100 swipes to get a one percent response. Often, that response, depending on your filters, is a woman who lives 200 miles away. For the sake of this article, an experiment was done to see if this was true. The results were surprising.
Three dating apps were picked. The filters used were based on a handsome, tall, well-groomed, and financially secure male seeking a woman from 40 to 50. Two dating apps would only allow a 100-mile radius while the third allowed the entire country. To ensure getting any response, over 1,000 women were swiped without regard for their profile. The goal was to see if anyone would respond.
The response was quite surprising. Scores and scores of women responded quickly and often. The response rate was over 60 percent of the women picked. The response rate was better on some sites than others, but the rate was almost the same.
In this experiment, the women were ranked from one to five, with six not allowed to be a choice. Then seven to ten. The idea behind not allowing for a score of six was to force an average/above-average ranking. Looks and weight were the only criteria used to determine a score. Because that is all people must go on when seeking a companion on a dating app. Reading the profile was not a factor in the decision to swipe, so it was not included when ranking who responded.
Anyone falling below a six was average and anyone above a six was considered above average. The results would create a better understanding of why
THE RESULTS
Over 97 percent of the women who responded on the random swipe right fell either at a five or below in ranking. Only three percent of the 1,000 women who were swiped was a female above seven. This meant that if our candidate was going to create any meaningful encounter, he was going to have to pick a person who fell below his level of dating.
The women who responded were verbal and left great first messages. They were engaging and attempted to initiate a meaningful conversation. They came from within the local radius, and they responded on a national level as well. This meant that they were willing to date long-distance.
“The problem with dating apps for me is the women I want don’t want me, and the women that want me, I don’t find attractive,” Thomas said.
He isn’t alone. Men often complain that the females they choose on dating apps never respond. This isn’t an accident. Dating apps are businesses designed to make money. They encourage subscriptions to stay in business. Men feel duped when paying fees to see likes and conversations.
“I noticed that when I would get a lot of pretty women in my feed when I went to the app. Once I paid for the subscription, the quality of women dropped significantly and I ended up wasting money only to find that no one really was engaged in a real conversation with me,” Brian said.
Dating apps often use robots or fake accounts to attract men to the sites. Men will scroll and swipe on women who will never respond to them.
“I have been on all the dating apps,” John said. “I noticed the same face with different profiles on three different dating apps. I don’t know if it was a scammer or the site itself. But I know I’m done with dating apps.”
The men who helped with this experiment found that the women who scored at or above a seven really didn’t need to be on a dating app. They all agreed that those women are probably having no trouble finding men to date off the app. Those at or above a seven are inundated with likes from men to the point where they either delete their account, ghost themselves or choose to not respond to the 1,000 likes they got.
NO EASY ANSWERS
Even though it’s naturally expected of men to deal with the hardest part of meeting someone when initiating contact, we men are also saddled with even more difficult and anxiety-inducing expectations when it comes to dating and relationships.
There are no easy answers when it comes to dating in 2023. Some women seem unapproachable when out and others seem uninterested in pursuing a real conversation when approached. So, men are left with very few options.
The reality is that men are going to have to get back to the tradition of walking up to a woman and risking failure and embarrassment to find love. Developing the skillset to becoming a desirable mate has always included the art of attracting a woman. Men will need to work on their craft by failing and failing often. Only then might they find the woman of their dreams. Hopefully, she will appreciate the effort. ●
