Marriage is an intricate journey, filled with ups and downs, and the ever-present winds of change. When couples set out on this path to build a resilient and enduring union, they often seek valuable tools and strategies to navigate the intricate terrain of married life. One such tool that has recently gained recognition for its potential to positively impact marriages is the practice of prayer.
In this article, we embark on a journey into the world of highly religious couples, each sharing an impressive 20-year bond. Their shared secret? The act of praying together. We shall explore the reasons behind why these couples who pray together tend to stay together, and how this seemingly simple act can be a catalyst for profound transformation within a marriage.
Marriage, as it turns out, is far from being a static institution; instead, it’s a continuous process of growth and adaptation. Much like individuals themselves, marriages evolve over time. Couples who have weathered the challenges and shared joys of decades together understand that transformation isn’t an abrupt occurrence but rather a cumulative, adaptive, and facilitating journey. As these couples gracefully adapt to life’s myriad challenges and the ever-shifting landscapes of their own selves, they turn to various tools that aid them on their remarkable journey.
Our voyage begins with a comprehensive research study that has identified 368 couples, all highly religious, who have forged bonds lasting an average of two decades. These couples have not been immune to the changes that life inevitably brings, yet they have found a way not only to endure but to flourish. Their enduring marriages are a testament to the potency of cumulative, adaptive, and facilitating transformation.
At the heart of these remarkable unions lies the practice of prayer. For these couples, prayer is a cornerstone of their marital transformation. They do not perceive prayer as a quick-fix miracle worker; instead, it is a catalyst for meaningful change. Prayer serves as a tool to gain deeper insights and discover effective solutions to the inevitable challenges that married life presents. In this exploration, we shall delve into the ways in which sincere and profound prayer equips these couples with the tools necessary to navigate the intricate journey of married life successfully.
Understanding the Research
Before we dive into the transformative potential of prayer in marriage, it is imperative to gain a comprehensive understanding of the research that reinforces the value of prayer. Researchers have dedicated themselves to the investigation of how Evangelicals in their interpretation of the Christ-groom metaphor within the context of their own relationships and spiritual experiences have found consistent marital growth by way of faith-based practices. The participants in this study described their understanding of Jesus within this metaphor in a multitude of ways:
· Some perceived Jesus as tender and intimately desiring a relationship.
· Others saw Him as relentlessly pursuing them with passionate love.
· Some viewed Jesus as a stable and companionate partner, highlighting reliability.
· Many described Jesus as continually sacrificing and generously giving.
· Some believed that Jesus provided for their needs, even when they could not reciprocate.
These participants have employed the image of the husband or lover God to sanctify their marital relationships, attributing sacred qualities to their unions. In this sacred metaphor, they view their spouses as “gifts” from God and consider Jesus as a guiding example of how they should behave within their own marriages.
It’s important to note that interpretations of this metaphor were not uniform among the participants; some applied it quite literally, acknowledging hierarchical aspects in their marriages, while others grappled with these hierarchical elements, choosing to favor more equal partnerships. Nevertheless, the metaphor has been a powerful influence, promoting qualities such as patience and love as ways of relating to their spouses.
The Interplay Between Spirituality and Marriage
The study reveals that the Christ-groom and Church-bride metaphor has the potential to enhance the commitment of couples to one another. It encourages the embodiment of qualities such as unconditional love, patience, and sacrifice, while also enhancing their conceptions of God.
The Transformative Power of Prayer
It is evident that the transformation of a marriage is an ongoing process, and highly religious couples have discovered that prayer plays a pivotal role in their personal and marital development. But how does this process work, and what are the key factors that contribute to the enduring bond of couples who pray together?
· Enhanced Communication and Understanding – One of the most notable benefits of couples who pray together is their ability to foster improved communication and understanding. When couples engage in prayer together, they create a dedicated space for a deeper connection. This shared practice provides a safe haven for them to express their desires, hopes, and concerns, deepening their connection, and enhancing mutual understanding.
For example, consider Zach, a devout Latter-day Saint husband, who, together with his wife, prays every night, offering specific prayers for each other. This shared spiritual communion strengthens their bond as they express their desires for each other’s well-being. Through prayer, couples find a platform to prioritize selflessness over selfishness, focusing on their partner’s needs and thus elevating the relationship.
· Conflict Resolution – Another prominent benefit of prayer in marriage is its role in conflict resolution. Disagreements and challenges are a common occurrence in any marriage, and prayer provides couples with a constructive means to address these issues. When conflicts arise, sincere and poignant prayer offers couples a brief respite to step back from the situation, regain control over their emotions, and become more rational and reasonable in their discussions.
Take the example of Tal, a devoted Muslim husband, who turns to prayer when he is upset. During prayer, he centers himself and seeks guidance. By the time he returns to his wife, he is in a better emotional state to engage in a productive discussion. This approach highlights the role of prayer as a calming and clarifying force that aids in problem-solving within the marriage.
· Shared Values and Goals – Praying together also serves to reinforce shared values and goals within a marriage. It is vital that partners in a marriage share fundamental beliefs and aspirations. Through prayer, couples align themselves with their shared spiritual values and remind each other of their common objectives, ensuring a strong sense of purpose within the relationship.
Mary, a devoted Christian wife, underscores the significance of their nightly prayers with her husband as a reminder of their shared faith and purpose. They employ prayer as a means to seek guidance and reaffirm their commitment to both their faith and each other, thus establishing a robust foundation for their marriage.
· Encouragement of Gratitude – Prayer within marriage also encourages a profound sense of gratitude. By expressing thankfulness for each other and the blessings they have received, couples create a positive and appreciative atmosphere within their relationship. Gratitude holds the power to counteract negative emotions and significantly enhance marital satisfaction.
Lina, a devoted Jewish wife, emphasizes the role of gratitude within her marriage. Both she and her husband include expressions of gratitude in their daily prayers, which have helped them focus on the positives in their relationship. Gratitude becomes a means of acknowledging each other’s contributions and strengths, ultimately creating a more harmonious and fulfilling partnership.
· A Source of Strength During Difficult Times – In the ever-shifting landscape of marriage, couples inevitably face trials and tribulations, stemming from both internal and external sources. Highly religious couples find that prayer serves as a profound source of strength during these challenging moments. It provides them with a sense of spiritual support and resilience, ultimately enabling them to weather the storms of life together.
Ella, a devout Buddhist wife, shared the role of prayer in their marriage during her husband’s illness. She attests that their shared prayers provided them with a profound sense of unity and strength, helping them confront the uncertainty of the situation with courage and faith, ultimately bringing them closer together.
As couples strive to unlock the secrets of enduring and flourishing marriages, couples who pray together offer profound insights. The transformation within a marriage is not a one-time event but rather a continuous journey of growth and adaptation. These couples have demonstrated that prayer, as a catalyst for positive change within a marriage, isn’t a panacea but a source of guidance, understanding, and strength.
Through enhanced communication, conflict resolution, shared values, gratitude, and the ability to face challenges head-on, prayer emerges as the glue that binds these couples together. They have learned the transformative power of prayer, showcasing the enduring strength of marriages where partners not only grow together but also pray together, thus ensuring their bond remains unshaken through life’s myriad seasons.
It’s clear that in the ever-evolving river of marriage, the transformative power of prayer keeps couples grounded, connected, and resilient. It serves as a reminder that in the face of change, challenges, and the passage of time, couples who pray together are more likely to stay together. ●
